15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up – Part 2
Tip #8 Write down your feelings
Whether it is a personal journal or poetry, writing down your feelings will help you work through them. Do not edit yourself, and make sure that you are being completely honest. You will likely find that insights come to you while you are pouring out your heart on paper.
This is a great way to begin to recognize patterns, lessen your grief and realize the life lessons that you have received from this experience. Your relationship was not a failure if you have learned something about yourself. Even relationships that don’t work out are an important part of our journey through life and of becoming who we are meant to be.
Tip #9 Make a list to remind you of all of the reasons that your ex was not the right partner for you
This will help you keep your resolve, so this is not the time to be forgiving. Get downright ruthless as you complete your list and make sure you include everything that comes to mind. This list will prove as a very useful reminder when you have those moments when you start to question the break-up or start thinking that if you just did this or that differently, things might work out. Include what happened and how you felt, and be really clear about all of the things you hope you never have to feel again.
When you are having a weak moment or missing your ex, look at this list and remind yourself that what you wrote down is the truth of the situation. If you happen to get wrapped up in a moment of low self-esteem and start thinking that maybe you do not deserve better, then imagine this same situation happening to someone you really care about, like a friend or sibling. Then, think about what you would say to them in this situation. It would likely be something about getting as far away as they can and pointing out how the relationship is not good for them. That is exactly what you need to tell yourself.
Tip #10 Prepare for the new
A break-up is the start of a new chapter in your life. Prepare for your new beginning by organizing and cleaning up your space. Clutter and messiness only increases stress and can be depressing. You have enough to be depressed about, so help yourself feel refreshed by opening the way for new things that will soon be coming your way. Tidying up is also a great way to keep yourself busy and keep your mind off your ex and your break-up.
Any kind of cleaning up – even something as seemingly insignificant as cleaning up and organizing the icons on your computer desktop – will help you feel better.
Tip #11 Get rid of things that trigger memories
The grieving process is difficult enough without knickknacks, sounds, smells and pictures constantly reminding you of your ex. You may not even notice some of things that are triggering memories until you really take a good look around and assess the situation. A good first step is grabbing a box and spending time in each room of your home to remove things that make you think of your ex. If you have mementos that you don’t want to part with, just pack them away in a box for now. You don’t have to throw everything out; you just need it to at least be out of sight while you heal.
Tip #12 Find joy in other aspects of your life
When you are determining how to survive a break up, it can be hard to recognize the things in your life that still make you happy. Spend time with people you enjoy, take a class you have been considering for awhile, read a great book and keep reminding yourself that your relationship was just one part of your life. Indulge in things that make you happy and enjoy being single again.
Tip #13 Be active
Exercise is a proven mood enhancer and has been show to alleviate depression. It is also a great way to keep your mind busy and not thinking about your ex. Go jogging, hit the gym or take a stroll with friends. With every step you take, imagine letting go of your sadness and anger.
Tip #14 Let it all go
When you are working on how to survive a break up, letting go is one of the most difficult and most important parts. Holding on to anger, heartache or regret is of no benefit to you. You can hold on to the fact that your relationship was special and unique, and congratulate yourself on taking the risk of falling in love. But, always keep in mind that even though it didn’t work out in your favor this time around, there will always be a next time.
Tip #15 Maintain an optimistic outlook
Change the way you think, and you will change the way you feel. You will soon find that you are once again feeling free and will be ready to take on life on your own.